Meanwhile at my dresser…
Things I do to break free from review stress.
You are my facebook
Status; the thing that is on
My mind. All the time.
When somebody cries,
Do not hush them up, let those
Tears wash down their grief.
For thears wash not only
The eyes; but the soul with it’s
When the eyes dry down
It leaves the person happy -
His soul: clean, refreshed.
So starting next week, I’m gonna leave Batangas again to start the gruesome review for the Feb ‘14 PT Board Exams. I am gonna live with my classmates again, like in the internship, only there is a rift between me and with a dalaga.
I am now thinking how awkward it will be staying under the same roof again with her. I am gonna lie if I tell that I am not affected with what I heard a while ago, that to her, I am just a laugh, nothing else. Maybe she got fed up with me, something that is so predictable with her and my fault, for the nth time, is that I actually expected something from her.
I doubt that everything will be ok in the near future, I know her persona very well. Well I’m not giving in, not just because of everything that is said and done but also because sometimes, a person just needs his pride to be whole and intact when everything - including himself - is broken.
I hate the feeling you get when you`re trying your hardest not to cry in front of someone, but as soon as they ask you, ”are you okay?”, you just lose it.
Well, what can I say? I totally agree with this. Damn. Like a boss!
I really hate how the Filipino culture and society see homosexuality as a nuisance and how they program the minds of the children that being gay automatically translates to weakness and being wimpy.
“Tingnan nyo itong si _________. Lalampa-lampa. Bakla ka ba? Look at _________. What a big wimp. Are you gay?”
I was like, “So pag maliksi at malakas ka, straight ka na ha? So being dexterous and strong automatically makes you a straight man huh?”
Such mentality - that being gay is a weakness - is the cause of homophobia that is deeply rooted in the person, as he was conditioned on the early age that in order to prove one’s manhood, a person must be tough, must be strong. Of course, nobody wishes to be weak and flimsy, but they are children, you do not expect a high level of control on his body. That stigma is so preposterous that I got bored discussing it further.
1. Things, no matter how insignificant or important they are, take time. So just be patient. You might let it pass you by but it will come.
2. You can’t always go down on your knees and beg for something (i.e, the attention and love of someone you love but doesn’t feel the same way, asking for forgiveness when it’s not your fault). Learn to harden up and toughen up.
3. Running away won’t solve anything. You’ll just leave excess baggage for yours to carry, even if you’re thousand miles away from where you live.
4. The things you’ve lost has a way of returning in ways and shapes that’s different from before. So it’s okay if you’ve lost that love and that courage of yours. It will come back, this time, better and smarter.
5. Forgive. But never, ever forget. It’s not a grudge you’re planting inside your heart but a reminder that this time, you won’t let anything in without putting up a fight.
6. Smile and let them wonder why. Show off those teeth, no matter how crooked and ugly they are. Let your facial muscles work. Get those cheekbones to look like apples, round and soft.
7.Someone’s always going to walk away from your life and will leave you with memories you’ll never forget. Let them go. Let them walk away from your life because maybe they’re not really a part of it after all. They’re just chapters in the book of your life while some, the people who will walk in and stay in your life, are the entirety of your being.
8. God loves you. He will never let you go alone in this life. He is not always visibly there but you know He is there beside you, gently holding your elbow, careful not to let you trip over or fall down the cliff you’re climbing. He loves you, He really do. He is your Greatest and Truest Love.
9. The secret to a happy life is being able to appreciate the little things, no matter how often they come and happen in your life. Smell the flowers. Get out and let the sun rays kiss your skin. Watch the world, let it revolve around you but don’t get yourself dizzy in the process. Love your family and friends, and if given the chance, having Fate write your story, fall in love and that someone will love you in return. Listen to the music around you, be it the humming of the cicadas or the soft murmurs of the leaves swaying.
10. Embrace your life. Make every moment counts. Never regret a thing. Appreciate everything. Live life like it’s always going to be your last day. And in return, the greatest achievements will come along. Just be patient.
My sanity comes
To nothingness; like your eyes -
Whenever you smile.